~5 Months~

Five months ago today, my sweet, precious baby girl was born. It's so hard to believe..it just seems like last week. I feel like she should still be here..sometimes I just want to go see her at the hospital in hopes to bring her home soon..but I know that won't happen. Seems like a bad dream that I will be waking up from soon...but it's not a dream. It's real. She is gone. She won't return...but we will go to her. The past 5 months have been filled with lots of hurt,pain,sadness,loneliness (without her)and much grieving that we have had to deal with daily as it comes in waves and is different every time. The past 5 months have also been filled with lots of joy,excitement and blessings. It's been a roller coaster no doubt. We still miss Addison greatly, and we always will, but knowing that we will see her again gives me such great comfort. I know where she is, and I know the ONE who has her in HIS arms. I'm blessed to know that. The Lord continues to be faithful, and continues to show Himself worthy to be trusted. He is all I have to trust in, and that encourages me, and also greatly scares me. It scares me because putting my full trust in Him at all times is not easy to do...and not knowing what He might want me to do is scary.. Not knowing what He might have us endure next is frightening..but you know what? I know HE WILL be with us NO MATTER WHAT! That's comforting. I was reading through Job..and I feel so encouraged and overwhelmed by his story. The Lord was with him through all of that pain and heartache..and the same GOD that was with Job is with me. I am thankful to know that even in our darkest hour,day,weeks months or years..that HE alone will be faithful to walk along side us. I could write so much more, because my heart is very heavy, but I also know that it could take days to say what's on my heart. (Y'all don't want to read much more..and I don't want to type much more) So...with that...I will say, thank-you for your continued prayers and support. We love you, and appreciate so much your interest and care for us. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I do know who holds the future..and because of that I can rejoice in what He's going to do. Please continue to pray for us, and know that we will be hurting for a long time..but through your prayers and ultimately the Lord's help..we will get through this darkest time of our lives. We will see Addison again someday, and I can't wait for that day. For now..I am trusting in the God who is faithful...

~Memories of our Addison~

I'm so glad that we have the memories and pictures we have of our sweet Addison. It helps me to see some of her things to remind me of the short time we had with her, and how much we treasured every moment. She was our precious baby girl..and we miss her so much. I can't wait to see her again. I'm so thankful that we have the hope that we have. I wanted to share some of our memories of her that are really special to us...

Two of my favorite pairs of Addison's shoes

Her Jesus Loves Me blankie

Her cute little hand & foot mold

A mold of Addison's tiny little foot

A mold of Addison's tiny little hand

Addison's frame (sorry about the reflection of the bed in the picture)It hangs above her shelf of stuffed animals and books... It's precious.

4 Months Later....

It's so hard to believe that it's been 4 months since our baby girl was born, and then just a few short days later, went to be with Jesus. Sometimes it seems like it happened yesterday and other times it feels like forever being here with out her. The Lord continues to sustain Stephen and I, and we are so thankful for HIS blessings in our lives! Our latest blessing, is that we are expecting another bundle of joy sometime late March. We are thrilled! I only wish Addison was here to be the big sister to this baby and that they could grow up together, but I know that's not the Lord's plan for us. She is with Him and that brings my soul delight to know that I will see her again! We miss her terribly, and will never forget her impact in our lives. We look forward to this second blessing with hope, and joy, and we are just blessed by this miracle. So much has happened since Addison was here. It seems as if the world around us keeps on going, but sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in the week of April 25th. The Lord has been gracious to me and my healing. He has shown me so many things, and I am grateful for the chance to grow even closer to my savior. It will always be different without Addison, but we look forward to the future when we will see her again..and she can show us around heaven. :) I could write so much more, but my heart is heavy..and I would stay here too long. In times like these..I just have to take the rest to the Lord.. He has continued to prove HIMSELF faithful to us by loving us, taking care of our needs and showing us the truth of HIS word! God is so good. I would like to share a very sweet poem that my incredible husband wrote for me just the other night. He truly shared his heart in this poem, and I asked him if it would be ok to post what he wrote. (He agreed) I am so blessed with such a Godly man who is there for me, and leads me! I love you Stephen!
Here is the poem:

"I Remember That Day"
Stephen Deason - August 25th,2010

I Remember that Day
Just like Yesterday
Pain…Exhaustion…Fear
For the two I held so dear

Heart Stopping…
Jaw Dropping…
No Words to say
Whatever time was that day

Time stood still
With only prayers to fill
The unexpected that day
Would make some turn away

But You, Oh Lord, are my rock
Shepard of the flock
Do not forget me on this day
Use me Lord I pray

I put my Trust in You
May I be among the few
Praising you
In all I do

Though Time stands still
Lord God, I submit to your will
In my weakness you are strong
In Your arms I belong

Thank you God for my wife
It was You who gave her life
You brought her back to me
Filling my life with glee

My daughter is in your hand
This was in your plan
Not till Heaven will I see
My daughter smiling back at me

Your praise I will forever sing
Putting me under your wing
Now my little girl in the arms of Christ is found
Fret not, I am Heaven bound

We are both so excited to know that we are heaven bound and that we will see the Lord face to face someday...
Thank you for your continued prayers and support!!! We really appreciate it!!! Lots of love to you all!